The acquisition of material goods doesn’t bring about happiness. In fact I believe the contrary to be true. Stephanie Rosenbloom wrote an article about happiness in the New York Times. She writes:

New studies of consumption and happiness show that people are happier when they spend money on experiences instead of material objects, when they relish what they plan to buy long before they buy it, and when they stop trying to outdo the Joneses. Current research suggests that, unlike consumption of material goods, spending on leisure and services typically strengthens social bonds, which in turn helps amplify happiness.

One major finding is that spending money for an experience produces longer-lasting satisfaction than spending money material goods. I would much rather put my money toward concert tickets, French lessons, guitar lessons, science classes, camping trips, and excursions to Europe or other countries. As professor Elizabeth W. Dunn (University of British Columbia) said: If money doesn’t make you happy then you probably aren’t spending it right.” We can reminisce about our experiences. Interestingly, no matter how many less-than-pleasant experiences come with it, we often remember the experience as a whole in a rosy, positive light.

Brent and Jenna on the ferry in Casco Bay.

In his blog “Becoming Minimalist,” Joshua Becker lists 12 reasons why you’ll be happier in a smaller house. Living in a small apartment, I can identify with many of his points. For instance, it is easier and faster to clean and maintain. It is less expensive. We accumulate fewer possessions and are forced to get rid of excess, which is mentally freeing. Joshua states, “As is the case with all of our possessions, the more we own, the more they own us.” Living in a small home also encourages family bonding because we are closer together and interacting with each other more than we would in a larger home. Joshua mentions that a smaller home requires less resources to build and less resources to maintain. I would rather have a small home in a great location. I love living in Maine. Even more ideal would be to live somewhere within walking distance to the beach, hiking trails, or perhaps a subway station in a big city such as Manhattan or Boston.

When we moved to Maine a few years ago, we left everything behind that would not fit in the moving truck. We gave our lawnmower, table saw, chainsaw, and other large items to our neighbors. Moving into a small furnished apartment, we decided to rent a storage unit in which to store our large couch, refrigerator, oven, and many containers of various items that wouldn’t fit in the apartment. I totally regret doing this, as we have been paying $130 monthly for three years, storing things we don’t absolutely need. We have decided to get rid of our storage unit. I have just begun emptying it out and eliminating more paraphernalia. The girls decided they want to all share a bedroom, which makes the third bedroom handy for storing the few items we want to keep.

Over time we have been constantly getting rid of things, and the girls have been learning important lessons in the process. They know that on the rare occasions we purchase something new, we will usually also get rid of something we have. They actually initiate the purging of their toys, clothes, and other infrequently used items. They enjoy going through their things and donating them to friends, Goodwill, and the library. Living simply is much less stressful, and it forces us to be more organized and creative with our space. I am often tidying up, discarding from, and organizing the drawers and desks at the nursing unit stations at work because I can’t stand clutter and chaos. ;-) I find that having less clutter and fewer things to overstimulate is calming, liberating, and results in fewer distractions.

Joshua posts some compelling reasons and suggestions for purging your books. I don’t believe we need to have shelves full of books taking up space in our home. We have libraries, many with interlibrary loans so we can reserve books from all over the state, and even the nation. A few years ago I started taking notes and recording excerpts from books and articles which were meaningful to me, and saving them in a digital document. Although people may still occasionally prefer and enjoy the experience of turning the paper pages of a book, I think the iPad and Kindle reader will mostly replace them. We have very few books left on our bookshelves at home; we have donated many to the library, which we visit frequently and appreciate for the many books we check out…for free.

Joshua also writes a thoughtful post about pursing the invisible rather than the visible:

The most valuable things in life can not be seen with the naked eye: love, friendship, hope, integrity, trust, compassion. And things like music, scents, silence, and memories. These are the things that bring substance, fulfillment, and lasting joy to our lives.

Jenna, Hayley and Skye near Nubble Light.

We often spend our time and energy focusing on material possessions–things we can see, such as big, beautiful homes, nice cars, and more furnishings and gadgets to fill up our large homes. And still we’re never fully satisfied or fulfilled by these things. We really don’t need much of what we have. Having meaningful relationships and experiences and creating memories will bring the most value to our lives.

Leo Babauta lists some useful tips on creating a minimalist home. I may not be a hard-core minimalist yet…but I’m getting there.

I often wondered why I recall events in my life as mostly happy and positive. Then this last semester as I was taking a sociology course, I came across a theory called the “Pollyanna Principle”. This is named after the book Pollyanna, about a young girl who fervently held a naively optimistic and grateful outlook on life. According to the Pollyanna Principle, the brain processes information that is pleasing and agreeable in a more precise and exact manner as compared to unpleasant information. We actually tend to remember past experiences as more rosy than they actually occurred.

In 1978 researchers Margaret Matlin and David Stang provided substantial evidence of the Pollyanna Principle. They found that people expose themselves to positive stimuli and avoid negative stimuli, they take longer to recognize what is unpleasant or threatening than what is pleasant and safe, and they report that they encounter positive stimuli more frequently than they actually do.

Matlin and Stang also determined that selective recall was a more likely occurrence when recall was delayed: the longer the delay, the more selective recall that occurred. Joshua Wolf Shank stated in his article “What Makes Us Happy?” in the June 2009 Atlantic:

Distortions can clearly serve a protective function. In a test involving a set of pictures, older people tend to remember fewer distressing images (like snakes) and more pleasant ones (like Ferris wheels) than younger people. By giving a profound shape to aging, this tendency can make for a softer, rounder old age, but also a deluded one.

Psychologist Christopher Peterson indicated his book, A Primer in Positive Psychology, that human minds at the unconscious level gravitate toward the positive, while at the conscious, thinking level they tend to focus on the negative.

L.J. Varner and H.C. Ellis evaluated mood congruent memory in 1998:

Mood congruent memory occurs when the memory for material that corresponds with an individual’s current mood state is retained and recalled more efficiently than information that contradicts the current mood state. In other words, happy individuals are more likely to recall pleasant/happy information, while sad individuals are more likely to recall unpleasant/sad material.

Obviously we should be realistic and take the bad with the good. It is appropriate and healthy to acknowledge and experience emotions natural to a negative event. We need to face and learn from our negative experiences and feelings rather than avoid or suppress them. However, I think it is healthy and important to have an optimistic perspective. I find that focusing on the positive makes me a happier person. Just call me Pollyanna.

I watched this video by Dan Gilbert about happiness on Ted Talks. He challenges the idea that we’ll be miserable if we don’t get what we want, and states that our psychological immune system lets us feel truly happy even when things don’t go as planned. Gilbert explains how the prefrontal cortex in our brain acts as an “experience simulator.” He states:

We have something called the ‘impact bias’ which is the tendency for the simulator to work badly–for the simulator to make you believe that different outcomes are more different than in fact they really are. But they have far less impact, intensity, and much less duration than people expect them to have. A recent study that shows how major life traumas affect people suggests that if it happened over three months ago, with only a few exceptions, it has no impact whatsoever on your happiness.

Gilbert presents data showing that lottery winners and paraplegics were equally happy one year after winning the lottery and losing their legs, respectively. He suggests that in our society we have a strong belief that synthetic happiness is somehow inferior to “natural” happiness, which is the type of happiness we stumble upon when we get what we want.

It was an interesting and thought-provoking talk. I see too many people chasing what they want, and never truly finding lasting happiness. I notice in my own life seemingly significant desires or events that turn out to be not nearly as important or meaningful as I had originally thought. I find that time spent with my best friend Brent and our girls, relationships, and creating opportunities to pursue my interests and passions trump anything else that may or may not happen. This power we have to synthesize happiness is truly a gift, and it certainly puts things into perspective.